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Marriage Project symbol 1 |
Heterosexual-only marriage symbol 2 |
Some diverse quotations:
 | "Each individual's journey through life is unique. Some will make this journey alone, others in loving relationships - maybe in marriage or other forms of commitment. We need to ponder our own choices and try to understand the choices of others. Love has many shapes and colors and is not finite. It can not be measured or defined in terms of sexual orientation." From the Statement of Affirmation and Reconciliation by the Quaker meeting in Aotearoa. |
| "Hey if you don't believe in gay marriage then don't marry a gay person!" Whoopi Goldberg, on the TV program The View. |
| A curse that we received from a conservative Christian. (Grammar, punctuation and spelling corrected to make it legible): |
"This is to let you know that SSM is an abomination in the sight of God and his word says that to agree with sinful evil people is being a partaker of other men's sins therefore the same punishment will be applied. The nation or people that commit abominations will be sent a curse that consists of God sending your enemies upon you and they will kill your sons and daughters, your enemies will eat up all your profits and get rich because of your sinfulness, God will send hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, Fire, Famine, and disease. If this will not turn your heart he will then sent a curse seven times worse until you are utterly destroyed. This is to let you know because many are being destroyed even now this curse has been in effect for a while and God wants sinners to to know why these things are coming upon them. He wants to give all men the opportunity to repent and be saved. These things will increase on the nations and people that war with him and they will know the wrath of the Lamb, for he will break them to pieces like a piece of pottery cast upon a rock, his fire will purge and clean every evil from the face of the earth and many shall flee to caves and hide from his presence crying out for the rocks to fall on them."
| "Because marriage is a basic human right and an individual personal choice, RESOLVED, the State should not interfere with same-gender couples who choose to marry and share fully an equally in the rights, responsibilities, and commitment of civil marriage." The Marriage Resolution, by the Marriage Project of Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund. 3 |
| "If marriage means everything, it means absolutely nothing. It will mean nothing to same-sex as well as opposite-sex couples. The current decline of the institution of marriage will be accelerated. Increasing numbers of couples will elect to simply 'live together'." Dr. James C. Dobson, of Focus on the Family. |
| "Then hugs. And kisses. Love was being expressed. Love that finally had found a tiny crack from which to shine." Rev. Ed Evans is the pastor of First Congregational United Church of Christ in Vancouver, WA, commenting on same-sex marriage ceremonies he was performing in Multnomah County, OR. |
| "This sort of marriage is not in the best interest of children." "God has a plan for marriage and this isn't it." "Allowing this kind of marriage will pave the way for all sorts of moral depravity." Comments from the 1960s on the interracial marriage of one man and one woman -- Mildred Jeter and Richard Loving. |
| "Promoting hatred and bigotry in the name of God is what destroys society, not the marriage of two loving people of the same gender." Raymond Miller. 4 |
| "Gay people deserve the same right to marry that everybody else does. And God cares about our relationships the same way God cares about heterosexual relationships. We're making the same commitments to each other. We have the same responsibilities to each other, and we deserve the same rights and responsibilities under the law that everyone else has." Harry Knox of the Human Rights Campaign. 5 |
| "I believe that others have the right to live as they choose, free from discrimination. But I don't believe that this acceptance, that this tolerance should lead to a radical redefinition of marriage." Senator Bill Frist (R-TN), Senate majority leader. 5 |
| Seen on the Pardon My Planet comic strip for 2007-APR-24: A media person is interviewing a political candidate. The latter says: "I've got no problem with gay marriage --even though I don't understand why a gay man and a lesbian would wanna tie the knot in the first place." |
| "[Their relationship] is essentially different
from that of man and wife joined in lawful wedlock." A North Carolina judge,
1858, referring to a marriage between two African American slaves, unrecognized by the state
because of their race.
6 |
| More quotations |
Overview:
We often hear that the institution of marriage was created in an era before governments as a union between one man and one woman, and has remained unchanged ever since -- that is, until some people started successfully advocating for same-sex marriage. This is factually untrue. There are, for example, at least eight different marriage and family types mentioned in the Bible. Even within the U.S., the definition of "marriage" has gone through many major changes over the past century and a half:
| Prior to the civil war African-Americans were not allowed to marry in many areas of the U.S. (See the quotation mentioned above.) After the war, marriage was redefined to include African-Americans. |
| In the early 19th century, the Mormon Church, and later the territory of Utah, redefined marriage to include polygyny: plural marriage of one man to multiple women. |
| In 1890, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints -- at least temporarily -- suspended polygyny. The definition of marriage returned to its earlier state of a union of one man and one woman. Polygyny continues among fundamentalist Mormon denominations in the state of Utah, in one area of British Columbia, Canada, with essentially no government interference. |
| Prior to 1967, at least sixteen states prohibited mixed race couples from marrying. During that year, a U.S. Supreme Court decision -- "Loving v. Virginia" -- redefined marriage throughout the country to also include unions of persons of different races. Two years later, the state of Virginia adopted the travel slogan "Virginia is for Lovers." Few people apparently noticed the irony. |
But, until recently, same-sex couples could not marry anywhere in the world. Almost universally, marriage remained either:
| a union of one man and one woman in most countries, or |
| a union of one man and up to four women in many predominately Muslim countries. |
This final restriction was lifted during 2001-APR, when The Netherlands expanded its definition of marriage to include both opposite-sex and same sex couples. Belgium followed suit during 2003-JAN. Next came Ontario, a province in Canada in 2003-JUN. By 2004-NOV, same-sex marriage had become available in most Canadian provinces. When federal law C-38 was signed into law on 2005-JUL-20, SSM theoretically became available across all of Canada. However Prince Edward Island ignored the civil rights of same-sex couples, and refused to issue marriage licenses to them for almost a month. The capitulated when threatened by a lawsuit. Spain passed a law allowing same-sex couples to marry on 2005-JUN-29. South Africa's law came into effect on 2006-NOV-30.
Many political jurisdictions have special legislation that allows gay and lesbian couples to register their committed relationship as a civil union or domestic partnership and gain some benefits. These areas include most of the Scandinavian nations, the UK, Switzerland, and a number of states in the U.S.: The enabling legislation varies greatly among the jurisdictions. Many couples receive only some of the advantages that opposite-gender couples automatically acquire when they marry. In the case of the U.S., couples typically receive a few hundred state benefits but not the over one thousand federal benefits.
This web site uses the term "same-sex marriage" (abbreviation: SSM) in place of the more commonly used "homosexual marriage" because it is more precise and inclusive. Some individuals with a bisexual orientation form loving committed same-sex relationships and want to marry. The term "SSM" covers them as well as homosexuals.
Many people believe that same-sex marriage -- or its equivalent under another name -- will become available to all loving, committed adult couples throughout North America and western Europe sometime in the next few decades -- whether they be same-sex or opposite-sex spouses.
Others -- typically religious and social conservatives -- feel that same-sex marriage is a major threat to the institution of marriage itself. They often describe themselves as "supporters of traditional marriage" which actually means that they want to prevent same-sex couples and their children to be forever denied the approximately 1,400 benefits and rights of marriage.
The status of same-sex marriage in the U.S.:
Same-sex couples were able to obtain marriage licenses in San Francisco, CA, and in various towns in New Mexico and New York for short intervals of time during 2004. However, none were able to register their marriages at the time.
Currently, only one man and one woman can be joined in matrimony and have their marriages recognized by state governments, except for Massachusetts and Connecticut where SSM is allowed. Same-sex couples from New York can marry elsewhere and have their marriages recognized by the New York government. The situation in California is in a state of flux as of 2008-NOV. Proposition 8 narrowly passed there. This had the effect of prohibiting any new SSMs. But its constitutionality is in dispute.
As of 2007-MAR, almost all states have "Defense of Marriage Acts (DOMAs)" or constitutional amendments prohibiting same-sex marriage. Exceptions are:. New Mexico and Wyoming in the West, and Connecticut, Maryland, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, and Vermont in the Northeast.
The Alliance Defense Fund, a conservative Christian legal activist group, maintains "DOMAwatch" that describes the current status of same-sex marriage, court cases, etc. in each state. See: http://www.domawatch.org/
Maps showing current state laws affecting gays, lesbians, & bisexuals:
The Human Rights Campaign (HRC), a gay-positive civil-rights agency
working for equal treatment for persons of all sexual orientations, has created
a series of maps showing the current status of state laws in the U.S.
These are PDF files for which you may need software. It can be obtained free from:
HRC has a links to detailed description of the status of laws in each state at: http://www.hrc.org/
About civil unions and domestic partnerships:
During 2000-MAR, 61% of California voters supported Proposition 22, which defined marriage as being restricted to between one man and one woman. But Proposition 22 and many of the DOMA laws only control the institution of marriage. They do not prevent a legislature from creating a new set of laws which cover a different type of relationship -- typically called civil unions or domestic partnerships -- for same-sex couples. A state could then recognize committed relationships among its citizens in two ways:
| It would retain the existing system of marriage for heterosexual couples -- for one man and one woman -- intact. Heterosexual couples who plan to marry in the future would find that nothing is changed; the regulations, privileges, obligations, benefits etc would be the same as always. Nothing would change for existing heterosexual couples who were married in the past. States typically grant about 400 rights and privileges to each married couple. The federal government separately contributes an additional 1,000 benefits to them. |
| A state legislature could then create a similar system, usually called civil unions, for same-sex couples -- i.e. for two men or for two women. These would grant some or all of the approximately 400 state benefits that have been previously granted only to married couples. But over 1,000 federal rights and privileges that married couples receive automatically would be withheld from "civil unionized" couples because of the federal DOMA law. It prohibits the federal government from recognizing civil unions. The constitutionality of that law is in doubt. |
Some DOMA laws are actually stealth legislation. They are deceitfully promoted as simply forbidding the recognition of same-sex marriage. But in fact, they prevent any granting of rights or obligations given to married couples to unmarried couples. These laws strip away benefits enjoyed by common-law as well as same-sex couples.
The legislators of the state of Vermont set up the first civil union system which went into effect in mid-2000. A number of other states have similar arrangements.
Please proceed to the main
same-sex marriage menu
References used:
The following information sources were used to prepare and update the above essay. The hyperlinks are not necessarily still active today.
- National Freedom to Marry Day logos are available at: http://www.lambdalegal.org/
- From the Family Research Council's Washington Update mailing list of 2003-OCT-8.
- The Marriage Project, Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund.
See:
http://www.lambdalegal.org/ You need software to read these files. It can be obtained free from:
- Raymond Miller, "United Church welcomes 'sinners'," The Toronto Star, letters to the editor, 2005-OCT-04.
- "Marriage Protection Amendment," Episode 940, Religion & Ethics Newsweekly, 2006-JUN-02, at: http://www.pbs.org/
- Stanley M. Elkins, "Slavery: A Problem in American Institutional and Intellectual Life," University of Chicago Press, (1976). Read reviews or order this book safely from Amazon.com online book store
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Copyright © 1997 to 2008 by Ontario
Consultants on Religious Tolerance
Latest update: 2008-NOV-16
Author: B.A. Robinson
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